The year is almost at an end and that means one thing for people who write about movies and TV: it’s time for LISTS!!! Best of, Worst of, Most Bizarre, Most Disappointing, you name it and we’ll list it. We do this cuz we’re a bunch of opinionated assholes with too much time on...
Graves
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One of the hardest things for a movie to evoke is a mounting sense of dread. There are so many horror and thriller films that rely on violence or staccato blasts of music to put the audience on the edge of their seats. It’s much harder to make the audience feel unsafe by seemingly...
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You’ve never seen a haunted house like this one. It doesn’t simply creak at night; the east wind howls through it with deafening force. There are no leaks in the ceiling but there is a giant hole directly above the main foyer. Snow falls as if it has been invited. The water from the...
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There’s a knock on your front door. You know what’s coming but don’t want to believe it. You lie to your family members, telling them not to worry, that you’ve got it all under control. You take a deep breath and open the door. A well-dressed man holds out his hand. He’s flanked by...
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There’s a small horror movie from Germany playing in select theaters right now that most critics are hailing as some kind of dark masterpiece in the vein of The Babadook and It Follows. That kind of praise, coupled with it’s creepy trailer, got my attention real quick so I’m sorry to report that Goodnight Mommy is a stunning disappointment....
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The Visit looks like an easy movie to make fun of. It’s got an inherently creepy premise that could easily teter over into unintentional comedy in the wrong director’s hands. One need only take a look at the trailers to see what I’m talking about. Any movie that treats an old lady screaming ‘YAHTZEE’ into...
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Picture this: It’s 1984. You’re a movie fan despairing over the fact that the horror genre is dying. Sure, Halloween was great and all but you’ve seen nothing but copycats since then. Slasher movies with obnoxious and obvious titles like Don’t Answer the Phone and When a Stranger Calls have become the norm. You sort of enjoy the Friday the...
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Rectify concluded it’s third season on Thursday night and I’m sure that virtually none of you were aware of this. Hell, you probably weren’t even aware of its existence. It’s on a channel that everyone has but no one watches (Sundance), it doesn’t have an immediately engaging hook like ‘Sopranos in Middle Earth‘ or ‘Mr. Chips...
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“What went wrong?” That appears to be the question on everyone’s mind in regards to Fox’s reboot of The Fantastic Four. The movie has been surrounded by a cloud of bad buzz ever since it was first announced. There were the rumors of director Josh Trank’s increasingly destructive behavior, then a trailer that received, shall we...
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Trying to get people to watch Hannibal is as difficult as trying to convince someone to change their political beliefs. It’s frustrating, fruitless, and ends with both people mad at each other. Seriously, this is how it goes nearly every time I try to tell a friend they should give it a shot: ME: Hannibal is the best...
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