I don’t post trailers very often but Big Game looks like it will be the most entertaining movie of year. I’m already saving a spot on my best of 2015 list and I’ve only seen about a minute and a half of the actual film. THIS. TRAILER. IS. EVERYTHING. So don’t tell me to get ready to be disappointed, don’t yell at me about over-hyping it, don’t say anything bad about this movie or I WILL COME AFTER YOU WITH A BOW AND ARROW JUST LIKE THAT KID IN THE ABOVE IMAGE. I mean it, don’t mess with me on this one.
Big Game comes from Jalmari Helander, the mad genius who gave us Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. It stars Samuel L. Jackson as the President of the United States. How the hell has he not played the president before? Shame on you America for not making him the President in every movie. Thank god the Finnish are here to make amends. Anyway, the film also stars Onni Tommila (same kid from Rare Exports) as a boy sent into the woods so that he may become a man or something. Air Force One is flying overhead and Jackson is forced to jump into the escape pod when the plane is attacked by terrorists. He lands in the woods and teams up with the boy to save the day. If every action movie had a premise as utterly ludicrous as that, I’d probably never leave my house cuz I’d just be watching them all the time. Here’s the trailer.
See what I mean? This movie needs to come out yesterday. The fact that there’s no official release date yet makes me very angry. I mean, come the fuck on, what is there not to love about this?! You’ve got Jim Broadbent saying “kill the sons of bitches” while eating a sandwich, a boy carrying a dear head and jumping off a cliff, Samuel L. Jackson trying to figure out how to work a cup and string phone, crazy action scenes with helicopters and machine guns, and the most badass kid in the history of cinema. He actually makes Jackson look like a wimp. No easy feat. It’s great that the trailer gives him top billing right after Jackson. Also this: ” Who are you?” “President…of the UNITED STATES.” “Prove it.” Amazing.
There’s something great going on in movies right now. All the children of the 80’s are grown up and making movies based off the crazy flicks they grew up with. Last year’s The Guest was the best example but this looks like it’s even more fun, if that’s possible. It’s like Helmander took Escape from New York, The Goonies, and all the Indiana Jones movies, threw em in a blender, added Samuel L. Jackson, and made this tasty concoction. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO UNTIL THIS COMES OUT?! Wait, wait, I found a short clip! Check it out!
Jesus Christ, I can’t wait for this. I can’t take it. I’m going to lose my mind. Wait, I have to ‘be tough’ right?! Can I do that? Can I? God, I hope so. That kid is already my new hero. I want him as the lead in every movie from now on. BUT OH GOD, HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR THIS?!
Please Hollywood, please, just release it tomorrow. Please. What the hell else have you got going on right now? Just do us all a favor and get this into movie theaters as soon as possible. For FREEDOM, because that’s what’s hot right now, and for my own sanity because I am not going to make it if I have to wait more than a week.