Continuing my Halloween coverage, we are here today to examine the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. I’ve made it no secret that this has always been my favorite horror series, so much so that I sort of like all the sequels to a certain degree. Still, I have to admit some are pretty terrible which is why I’ve decided to officially rank them from worst to best for once and for all. If you’ve never gone through the series before, I cannot recommend it highly enough. He may have turned into a joke over the years but when he first came onto the scene, Freddy Krueger was terrifying. When the first film came out in 1984, horror was going through a bit of a dry spell. Slashers were everywhere and people were getting bored. Then Freddy showed up and brought new life into the genre. The Elm Street films are by far the most imaginative of all the major horror franchises and, in that regard at least, they wipe the floor with Halloween, Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw. Not all of the movies listed below are good but they each have at least a little spark of wild, untamed imagination in them.
NOT RANKED: Freddy vs. Jason and the Remake.
I already wrote about the remake here so I’ve said all I want to say about that piece of shit. As for Freddy vs Jason, I enjoy it but it doesn’t really fit wit the rest of the franchise. It’s the most expensive fan film ever made and that’s fine and dandy, but it doesn’t have a place in these rankings. I crunched the numbers to make sure and the numbers never lie.
7.
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
In this not final entry’s defense, this is the movie the cast and crew set out to make. Robert Englund has stated that they wanted to make a “Warner Brothers cartoon” and for the most part, they succeeded. Trouble is that making an Elm Street movie into a cartoon was a terrible idea. By this point in the franchise, Freddy had long been accused of becoming too goofy and this only served to illustrate the proof of that. Also, since this was supposed to be the last one, wouldn’t you think someone would have said, “hey should we maybe try making it scary again”? That would have been the logical way to go but no, they decided to put Freddy on a broomstick instead. They also decided to give him a daughter at the last minute, which made absolutely no sense at all considering what we supposedly knew about the character. It was never mentioned in any previous film that he had a daughter or a wife. Shouldn’t that have been brought up earlier? Even as just a throwaway line of dialogue? It was a plot point that reeked of desperation to come up with one final, shocking twist. It was shocking but not at all in the way intended. Another big problem is that most of the actors spend the whole movie winking at the camera, including Englund. Freddy has never been more of a caricature. The end of the movie was shot in 3D and it’s obvious no one knew what the hell they were doing. Objects are just sort of awkwardly pointed at the camera and the CGI is spectacularly shoddy, even by early 90’s standards. However, the worst offense was the idea to explain how Freddy got his powers: some ancient dream demons gave them to him. That’s not something we ever needed to know. Freddy was scary precisely because we didn’t know where he came from or how to stop him. Explaining his powers took the mystery away and doing so in the laziest way possible (ancient dream demons, really?) was simply insulting. Thank God this wound up not being the last Freddy film; it would have left a terrible taste in everyone’s mouth.
6.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge
Cracked.com named this the most unintentionally gay horror film of all time and they are correct. It is baffling that everyone involved in the production claimed to have had no idea how gay it was. Did they not notice the scene where the main character danced in his room dressed like a teen Liberace? Did they think having Freddy whip a naked Gym teacher with towels was scary? And did they just totally miss the subtext present with the main character fighting ‘inner urges’ and constantly running away from his girlfriend? Baffling. These things are not the reason this is a bad one though. If anything, the gay elements make an otherwise run of the mill possession movie sort of interesting and even a little edgy. The real problem here was taking Freddy out of dreams. That was the scary thing about him; that he could kill you in your sleep, a time when you’re supposed to be the safest. He also had limitless power in dreamland so why the hell would he want to come into the real world where he could be (and is) killed? He’s just another boring, average slasher villain here. In traditional sequel fashion, everything that was original and innovative about the 1st one was kicked to the curb in an attempt to make a quick buck. New Line Cinema clearly did not fully understand what they had on their hands yet, which is why it made sense to bring Wes Craven back to co-write part 3. Still, part 2 has its defenders. As Robert Englund pointed out once, “They love this film in Europe.” Make of that what you will.
5.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
As stated earlier, I kind of like all the films in this series so I’m willing to forgive this one some of its problems. Problem number one: it’s dull. The middle section sags completely, featuring way too many scenes with the main characters running around an old asylum looking for the corpse of Freddy’s mother (don’t ask). Problem number two: having Freddy become a father is a somewhat inspired idea that no one knew what the hell to do with. Is the movie Pro-Choice? Pro-Life? Does it even know what abortion is? Or did the idea just stop at ‘Freddy becomes a dad’? The latter is the correct answer. Problem number three: Freddy’s make up sucks here. He looks more like a deformed raccoon with burns than his usual demonic self. Problem number four: the whole thing feels rushed together, which it was. It came out less than a year after Part 4. Considering that though, it’s amazing the filmmakers were able to come up with anything at all and there are bright spots. Lisa Wilcox’ Alice remains the series’ best protagonist next to Heather Langenkamp’s Nancy. The sequence where Freddy stuffs a victim full of food is one of the grossest scenes ever in a horror movie (so that’s good or bad, depending on how far your gross-out meter rises). Lastly, the movie looks fantastic. Director Stephen Hopkins came from the art design world and it shows. The sets are very gothic, matte paintings are used effectively, and those interconnected staircases used in the finale perfectly create the sensation that we’re trapped in a dark dreamland.
4.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
The fan favorite of the series and while I do like this one quite a bit, it is not without problems. Let’s go over the good first: all the dream sequences are inventive and imaginative and the special effects are very convincing for such a low budget movie. The cast of kids is great, with Patricia Arquette leading the pack. It was a smart move to bring back Heather Langenkamp to pass the torch to the next generation. And this is the sequel that does the best job of balancing horror and comedy. It’s here where Freddy became a wise-cracker and he has just enough goofy lines. Now for the bad: the movie has a great set up but a disappointing pay off. It presents these troubled kids as rivals and then gradually has them come to understand each other so they can join together and fight the monster in their nightmares. There are good metaphors about teen friendships, hopes, fears and personal battles in that set up but the movie eventually squanders them in favor of special effects. And then there’s the fact that, for a team of heroes, they’re surprisingly casual when some of their friends drop dead. It’s a real shame because if the filmmakers had trusted their convictions, this could have been the best film in the whole series (well, at least the second best). I also don’t like the very Catholic way of killing Freddy but that just comes down to personal taste. As it stands, this is a good sequel that could have been a great one.
3.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
This is the most steeped in the 80’s entry and, for my money, that’s a very good thing. I love every second of this dopey movie. No, it’s not scary at all and yes, Freddy is a bit too silly, but I don’t give a shit. This movie is fuckin fun. It gives us a great lead character in Lisa Wilcox’s Alice. Her journey from nerdy school girl to badass monster killer is wonderful, cathartic, and well earned. Then there’s the way this flick just doesn’t give a fuck. Other entries in the series took great pains to explain how Freddy was resurrected and how to kill him and they were always arbitrary. What does it matter how he comes back? The point is that he does. Why waste time with a random explanation? The Dream Master just has a dog piss fire on his grave and before you know it, HE’S BACK! I like that kind of zany, ‘who cares if it makes sense’ way of storytelling in a movie like this. Some great stuff is done with dreams too. The sequence where Alice and her boyfriend get stuck in a time loop is a series high point. I also love the way the movie gives weight to all the kills. Most slasher movies murder kids willy nilly and forget about them five minutes later. Not this one. Each death is keenly felt by every single character and none of the fallen are forgotten by the hero. In that way, it handles the themes of friendship, hopes, fears and personal battles better than Part 3 does. Then there’s the kickass 80’s soundtrack which starts with this song:
Right away, the soundtrack lets you know what you’re in for: a cheesy, tongue in cheek horror movie with attitude and imagination to spare. There’s a reason Part 4 was one of the top ten highest grossing movies of the year when it came out; it’s a fucking blast.
2.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The original classic is very cheesy by today’s standards but I’m going to argue that as a point that works in its favor. Part 1 can be enjoyed on two levels: (1). You can watch it with a group of friends and laugh at all the terrible line readings, the bargain basement effects, the blood geyser, and the drunken mom or (2). You can let all that go and appreciate the movie for what it created. The idea of a monster with the ability to kill you in your dreams is terrifying and universal. We all have our own boogeyman and Freddy Krueger gave that creature a face and a name. There’s a reason he’s stayed in our subconscious for so long. Because deep down, in some primal part of our brains, we’ve always been afraid of the monsters from our dreams. The idea that the best way to get rid of these fears is to just turn your back on them is a good one. And I have to admit, there are still parts of this movie that freak me out. The girl getting dragged out of bed and up the ceiling is one; the bloody body in the school hallway is another. And even though it’s cheesy as all hell, those long arms of Freddy’s have always given me the chills. At the end of the day, this is the one that started it all, for better or worse. No matter its faults, it deserves to be remembered as the flick that brought imagination back to horror movies.
1.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
The original was a triumph of creativity when it came out but Wes Craven’s New Nightmare is a greater triumph. It’s a deranged masterpiece that managed to make Freddy scary again while also succeeding at being a clever, witty take on Hollywood culture, a mediation on why we’re so attracted to monsters, and a disturbing look at the way movies are able to take on a bizarre life of their own. Everyone is at the top of their game here: Craven’s never been surer of himself as a director, Englund never scarier, and Heather Langenkamp never better. It was even sort of brave of her to allow Craven to shoot a semi-accurate portrayal of her life. She’s married to a special effects artist in real life, she had a young son at the time, and she did have a stalker. That’s partly where Craven got the idea from (the bad sequels must have helped too). He looked at what he had created and asked himself, “God what have I done?” The fact that he was able to give us this critique of himself and the Hollywood movie making machine at the same time as he made Freddy more terrifying than ever is nothing short of genius. The idea behind Freddy has always been a creepy one but Craven makes it even creepier here. What if Freddy is some kind of ancient evil that cannot be killed? The only way to stop it is to trap it in a story, that is until the story gets tired and it escapes again. We did this in Fairy Tales originally but now horror movies are the way to trap monsters. This is an idea that works wonderfully on a storytelling level but also ties in to why we’re so attracted to this genre in the first place: by reading and watching horror stories, we are able to keep the monsters at bay.
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