It’s that time of year again, boys and girls: Oscar Season. And as movie buffs the world over sharpen their familial tools of warfare (as one must always do before an awards show), we at PopChomp have decided to once again give you our very own set of awards for the best in film: The PopChomp Oscars! We admit the name needs a little work.

Below you will find a ballot we came up with at our PopChomp offices (yes, that new dark castle on the hill). Our ballot isn’t exactly like the Oscar ballot. We don’t care much for politics and fairness and other such nonsense. Our ballot is based on what we thought were the year’s best films and performances – common sense and the general public be damned!

Each PopChomp contributor got one vote on the ballot, as did the Academy. What resulted was a different and blessedly more diverse field of nominees. After our ballot was selected, we went ahead and voted for our top picks. Want to see how your favorites performed? How about the films the Academy nominated? Let’s compare notes, shall we?

And the nominees are…

BEST PICTURE

The Big Short

Bridge of Spies

Brooklyn

Crimson Peak

The Hateful Eight

It Follows

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

Spotlight

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: While the Academy saw fit to nominate just eight films for best picture, we went ahead and stretched it to ten. Our list is pretty noticeably different from the Academy’s picks: The Revenant and Room, two of the year’s most talked about movies, have been excised. Why the snubs? While we concede to the quality of the filmmaking in both cases, we just didn’t seem to like either movie very much. To echo the sentiment evident amongst the PopChompers, The Revenant is a beautiful but deeply unenjoyable film. Indeed, I can think of nothing worse than being forced to watch it again, let alone allowing it to take home Best Picture. Room features class-A performances, but we felt there were better contenders for the Golden Chomper.

The Hateful Eight made the list, as did the less obvious It Follows, Crimson Peak, and Star Wars: The Force Awakens, all genre pieces that were likely overlooked due to their status as genre pieces. Perhaps in a year with the likes of Mad Max: Fury Road on the ballot, Oscar voters couldn’t conceive of an additional sci-fi, horror, of fantasy nominee. Star Wars in particular is hard to deny in a year in which it was undeniably the most popular movie in the world – and for good reason.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road. Defying all expectations, George Miller’s gritty two-hour-long high octane thriller, set in the same dystopian future as the series’ previous installments, became a cultural phenomenon immediately following its release. Though some have written it off as “just another action flick,” Fury Road’s quality as a film is undeniable. It is never anything less than compelling, smart, and often surprising – something many of its fellow nominees failed to achieve.

 

BEST ACTOR

Matt Damon, The Martian

Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs

Michael B. Jordan, Creed

Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant

Samuel L. Jackson, The Hateful Eight

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Another category we significantly altered, the race for Best Actor has perhaps never mattered less than at the Academy Awards in 2016. While DiCaprio is widely considered to be a lock for The Revenant, we found the film so repugnant that he almost didn’t make our list. The consistently strong Bryan Cranston and celebrated chameleon Eddie Redmayne are both out. Their turns in Trumbo and The Danish Girl were terrific – even masterful, but not their best work by a long shot. Michael B. Jordan and Samuel L. Jackson are in as a result of arguably more notable performances in The Hateful Eight and Creed.

THE WINNER: Samuel L. Jackson, The Hateful Eight. Let me explain. The Hateful Eight is undoubtedly a divisive film: some call it a clever deconstruction of America’s violent history, immersed in Quentin Tarantino’s flair for stylistic intent, others say it’s an aimless and lazy piece of trash, reveling in its own carnage and its director’s sprawling ego. Either way, one thing is certain: Samuel L. Jackson is terrific as Major Marquis Warren, an often-wavering compass of something like morality in a bloody tale of revenge and bloody men. He transcends any interpretation of the piece with a performance that is both grounded in the reality of his convictions and reactive to the chaos swirling around him.

BEST ACTRESS

Brie Larson, Room

Cate Blanchett, Carol

Charlize Theron, Mad Max: Fury Road

Emily Blunt, Sicario

Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Jennifer Lawrence is nothing special in Joy. There, I’ve said it. She is a wonderful actress, often cast against her type, in what I assume is some irritating stunt to capitalize on her popularity at the box office. I still haven’t forgiven David O. Russell for casting her as the middle-aged alcoholic wife of Christian Bale in the unspectacular American Hustle. So no, she didn’t make our list. 45 Years’ Charlotte Rampling is also gone, more due to the fact that none of us saw her film than anything to do with her actual performance. If it makes you feel better, we’re pretty sure no one at the Academy saw 45 Years either. Sorry, Charlotte. The PopChomp voters moved in Emily Blunt for her largely-overlooked work in Sicario, as well as the force of nature that was Charlize Theron’s turn as Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road.

THE WINNER: Charlize Theron, Mad Max: Fury Road. Theron is the blazing torch that lights the fires of what is (in this author’s opinion) the year’s best picture. Her performance is heartfelt, engaging, and utterly badass and Theron’s absence from any kind of nomination by the Academy is an unforgivable sin.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Tom Hardy, The Revenant

Sylvester Stallone, Creed

Idris Elba, Beasts of No Nation

Walton Goggins, The Hateful Eight

Benicio Del Toro, Sicario

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Christian Bale and Mark Ruffalo are gone – swallowed up in the artful expanse of their own ensemble films. The Big Short and Spotlight were both films that owed more to their entire cast than any one supporting performance in particular, and frankly we might have gone with Steve Carrell or Michael Keaton respectively, if we’re going to split hairs. Mark Rylance is the most notable absence here, as his quality performance in Bridge of Spies may very well have won him an Academy Award in any other year. In their place we moved in the criminally-overlooked Idris Elba in Beasts of No Nation, as well as Benicio Del Toro in Sicario and the often underestimated Walton Goggins in The Hateful Eight. Of course, none of this actually matters, because Sylvester Stallone is unbeatable this year.

THE WINNER: Sylvester Stallone, Creed. Was this even a question? Our apologies go out to Tom Hardy, who is the most watchable thing in an otherwise unwatchable movie. 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight

Rooney Mara, Carol

Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl

Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Jessica Chastain, Crimson Peak

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Only Rachel McAdams is gone from the Academy’s picks, for similar reasons as costar Mark Ruffalo in the previous category. The remaining contenders all give excellent performances, but the delicious menace of Jessica Chastain in the rich, dark chocolate horror of Crimson Peak was too tempting to resist.

THE WINNER: Jennifer Jason Leigh, The Hateful Eight. Again, let me explain. The PopChomp staff recognizes that many people didn’t particular care for The Hateful Eight, but the troubling thing is that its performances are still quite good. Many things about it are objectively good. We take some comfort in that the Academy seemed to agree with us – Leigh is actually favored by many to carry this category on Oscar night. Her performance as Daisy Domergue, the movie’s main antagonist, was playful, venomous, and dripping with expert malice. We wish her well!

 

BEST DIRECTOR

George Miller, Mad Max: Fury Road

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, The Revenant

Guillermo Del Toro, Crimson Peak

Ridley Scott, The Martian

Quentin Tarantino, The Hateful Eight

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Lenny Abrahamson (Room) and Tom McCarthy (Spotlight) are both out, here replaced by defensibly better outings from the legendary Ridley Scott, who was snubbed for his turn at the helm on The Martian, as well as the more controversial Quentin Tarantino (The Hateful Eight). Love him or hate him, Quentin’s got style – something sorely lacking from some other nominees.

THE WINNER: Best Picture and Best Director often go hand in hand and this year is no exception. Though director George Miller may not have expected to take Mad Max: Fury Road all the way to the Best Picture category, that is what has happened. His sweeping vision of the post-apocalyptic world of Fury Road is the perfect culmination of his past work in the Mad Max franchise, elevating science fiction thrillers of its aesthetic type to the next level.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Bridge of Spies

Ex Machina

The Hateful Eight

It Follows

Mad Max: Fury Road

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Inside Out, Spotlight, and Straight Outta Compton narrowly missed our list. All are excellent films – and the absence of Spotlight is keenly felt in particular (who do these PopChomp staffers think they are, anyway?). Included instead are It Follows, Mad Max: Fury Road, and The Hateful Eight.

THE WINNER: Another big win for The Hateful Eight on our list. Perhaps you are noticing a trend. While this author doesn’t think much of this often-meandering entry from Quentin Tartantino, I must admit it’s an engaging piece that engenders important conversations about race, violence, and our complex history. Even if the movie doesn’t amount to much in terms of meaning, the characters drawn are interesting enough to make the films three-hour runtime feel like a breeze. A cold, murderous breeze.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

The Big Short

Brooklyn

Carol

The Martian

Room

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: This is one of our few unaltered categories! The PopChomp voters agreed with the Academy for a change. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but we found all of these choices worthy of a Golden Chomper.

THE WINNER: The Big Short takes the prize here. In what was one of the more enjoyable and smartest movies of 2015, the film actually makes complex world economics issues fun to watch. What’s the last film you could say that about? Choosing to follow the men who predicted the collapse of the housing bubble rather than the people the collapse affected most gave viewers a unique perspective into the crumbling infrastructure of Wall Street and the failure of the government agencies charged with regulating it.

 

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Hateful Eight

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Revenant

Sicario

Bone Tomahawk

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Carol has been shoved aside for the largely ignored Bone Tomahawk, an excellent feature that was likely buried due to a certain other gory horror “snow western” that came out in the same year. Although the only albino mutant caveman associated with that other film was its director (sorry, Quentin).

THE WINNER: The Hateful Eight takes it again. Much was made of the gorgeous cinematography evident in The Revenant – perhaps the only enjoyable part of that film other than Tom Hardy’s gritty supporting role – but The Hateful Eight is arguably better filmed. Taking place largely in the same location, I would dare you to find a shot that isn’t at least interesting.

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

The Danish Girl

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

The Revenant

Crimson Peak

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Bridge of Spies was replaced in this category with the far worthier Crimson Peak. Anyone who took the time to soak in Guillermo Del Toro’s lush vision of Gothic Horror was treated to an eyeful of stylistic treasures. How it escaped the notice of the Academy is a likely a tribute to their famous blind spot for genre greats – with one notable exception this year.

THE WINNER: As if there was any doubt, Mad Max: Fury Road took the Golden Chomper here. From a designer’s standpoint, Miller’s world of post-apocalyptic madness was both interesting and strangely believable and by far the coolest thing we saw this year.

BEST SOUND MIXING

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

The Revenant

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The Hateful Eight

WHAT’S DIFFERENT: First, it’s probably a good to have some idea what the difference is between sound mixing and sound editing. Sound mixing refers to putting sound together for the film’s final track (such as how sounds overlap each other and to what degree). Sound editing involves the process by which sounds are sourced and created. Bridge of Spies was dropped here in favor of The Hateful Eight.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road.As you’ll see, the film will be carrying the majority of our technical awards. We were most impressed.

BEST SOUND EDITING

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

Sicario

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Avengers: Age of Ultron

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Avengers: Age of Ultron replaced The Revenant here (have I mentioned we didn’t really like The Revenant so much?). The others are all equally worthy contenders, with a notable appearance by Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road.

BEST SONG

“Manta Ray,” Racing Extinction

“Simple Song #3,” Youth

“Til It Happens To You,” The Hunting Ground

“Pray 4 My City,” Chi-raq

WHAT’S DIFFERENT: We didn’t really think this was a standout year for the Best Song category – and let’s be honest, this category is sort of bullshit, isn’t? Worst of all it has created the trend of movie musicals writing new pieces into already existing scores just to get a shot at the statue. Luckily there were no musical nominees this year. A song from Fifty Shades of Grey was originally nominated (and blessedly removed by PopChomp voters), here replaced by “Pray 4 My City” from Chi-raq. We also had the opportunity to nominate a fifth song, but instead chose eliminate the abysmal “Writing’s on the Wall” from Spectre.

THE WINNER: “Til It Happens to You,” The Hunting Ground. We don’t really know why. I’m actually not entirely sure that anyone on our voting panel actually listened to it. At least we’re honest.

BEST SCORE

Bridge of Spies

Carol

The Hateful Eight

Sicario

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Unlike the Best Song category, Best Score has a lot of potential. We kept the Academy’s picks just the same – they’re all worthy of a spot.

THE WINNER: One of the most unexpected delights of the past year was the legendary Ennio Morricone’s return to composing the score for a feature film. Like Samuel L. Jackson’s performance, many would agree that Morricone’s sweeping (and often haunting) score for the film is simply terrific.

BEST COSTUMES

The Danish Girl

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Revenant

Crimson Peak

The Hateful Eight

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Period goodies Crimson Peak and The Hateful Eight replaced Carol and Cinderella. The former wasn’t a particularly impressive sample of costume design when compared to its fellows, and the latter was maybe a bit whimsical for our tastes – but a narrow miss there for sure.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road. The costumes appearing in the film leant much to creating a world right out George Miller’s sketchbook, a kind of a mash-up of Dune and Aeon Flux – and perhaps some of our own BDSM nightmares.

BEST MAKEUP/HAIRSTYLING

Mad Max: Fury Road

The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed out

the Window and Disappeared

The Revenant

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Crimson Peak

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: The Academy saw fit to nominate just three films in this category, so we assumed they merely forgot Star Wars and Crimson Peak came out this year – we went ahead and helped them out in this regard.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road – still going strong.

BEST FILM EDITING

The Big Short

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Revenant

Spotlight

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: No change from the Academy’s ballot – another field of worthy contenders

THE WINNER: Our pick was still Mad Max: Fury Road, a film cut so tightly together that we were pretty sure the entire film was just one long chase sequence – one that utterly took our breath away.

BEST FOREIGN FILM

Mustang

Son of Saul

Theeb

A War

Hard To Be A God

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Embrace of the Serpent is out in favor of Hard to Be a God, purely at the insistence of Noah, who we’re pretty sure is the only person on our panel of voters who actually saw any of these.

THE WINNER: Son of Saul, though I can’t pretend that any of our voters put a lot of thought into selecting this one. We’re not sure the Academy watches all of these either. On the whole, to quote Evan: “The entire ‘Best Foreign Film’ category is a farce.” And he’s right. Should it really matter what language a movie is in if it tells a worthy tale? 

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Ex Machina

Mad Max: Fury Road

The Martian

Ant-Man

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: The Revenant is out in favor of Ant-Man, which was quite a bit more of an achievement than a really convincing bear.

THE WINNER: Mad Max: Fury Road continues its veritable sweep of these awards.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Anomalisa

Boy and the World

Inside Out

Shaun the Sheep Movie

The Peanuts Movie

WHAT’S DIFFERENT: When Marnie Was There is out in favor of the much more enjoyable The Peanuts Movie, which seemed to be largely overlooked by everyone this year.

THE WINNER: The Peanuts Movie somehow beat Inside Out for the Golden Chomper here, though we’re pretty sure the latter is a lock on Oscar night. All the same, the introduction of Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and the whole Peanuts gang was a heartwarming bit of nostalgia in an age of often-manic children’s entertainment.

 

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Amy

The Look of Silence

Winter on Fire: Ukraine’s Fight for Freedom

Going Clear

Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s The Island of Dr. Moreau

The Look of Silence

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Cartel Land and What Happened, Miss Simone? are out in favor of HBO’s Going Clear and Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s The Island of Dr. Moreau.

THE WINNER: Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard’s Stanley’s The Island of Dr. Moreau. I can’t say that I have personally seen this entry, but I’m fairly certain our PopChomp voters chose it purely based on its extremely entertaining and lengthy title.

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

Body Team 12

Chau, beyond the Lines

Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah

A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness

Last Day of Freedom

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: No changes here!

THE WINNER: Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah. I… can’t pretend to know anything about any of the films in this category. I am not sure how our voters came up with this one. Frankly, if Mad Max: Fury Road could have been nominated in this category, I am sure it would have won.

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT SUBJECT

Ave Maria

Day One

Everything Will Be Okay (Alles Wird Gut)

Shok

Stutterer

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: No changes here either!

THE WINNER: Everything Will Be Okay (Alles Wird Gut). See above for an explanation of this one!

BEST ANIMATED SHORT SUBJECT

Bear Story

Prologue

Sanjay’s Super Team

We Can’t Live without Cosmos

World of Tomorrow

WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Once more, no changes!

THE WINNER: Sanjay’s Super Team is a charming short that is readily available online. Best Animated Short Subject might be the least popular category at the Oscars, but it does come with material that is easy to find and enjoy. You won’t be disappointed.

Many congratulations to the winners of the Pop Chomp Academy Awards! Mad Max: Fury Road is going home with ten Golden Chompers, leading The Hateful Eight with five.

How will our picks fare on Oscar night? We’re eager to see – but in the meantime, we’ll be polishing our axe blades in anticipation.

“WITNESS ME!”