Oscar season is the perfect time of year to gather with your loved ones, share a few laughs, and scream incoherently at the television, loudly voicing your opinions about rich weirdos in expensive clothing. We at Pop Chomp are no strangers to the time-honored Oscar traditions – in fact, we think it’s the merriest time of the year – Whacking Day aside – and therefore we’ve decided to pay tribute to The Academy Awards by holding a little election and awards ceremony of our very own.
Below you will find a ballot we came up with at our Pop Chomp offices (mostly while lounging around the hot tub). Our ballot isn’t exactly like the Oscar ballot. We don’t care much for politics and fairness and other such nonsense. We came up with our own Oscar ballot based on what we thought were the year’s best films and performances – common sense and expensive award campaigns aside.
Each Pop Chomp contributor got one vote on the ballot, and the Academy got a vote too (theirs counted the same as ours). What resulted was a different (and slightly more diverse) field of nominees. After our ballot was selected, we went ahead and voted for our favorites. Want to see how your favorites performed? Let’s compare notes, shall we? And the nominees are…
BEST PICTURE
Birdman
Boyhood
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Selma
Whiplash
The Babadook
Calvary
Guardians of the Galaxy
Inherent Vice
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: We nominated 10 films instead of 8 – because that’s how we roll. The Theory of Everything and American Sniper were trimmed off the list. Replacing them are the much-ignored and way underrepresented Calvary, The Babadook, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Inherent Vice. We don’t discriminate against genre flicks and independent arthouse films here at Pop Chomp. We also don’t discriminate against movies we just plain had a good time with! The result? A more honest list without paying lip service to films seemingly hand-tailored for awards season. In fairness, props to the Academy for keeping Unbroken out of our way to begin with.
THE WINNER: The Grand Budapest Hotel. Wes Anderson’s most Wes Anderson-y movie yet charmed its way into our hearts (and our pants) earlier this year – so early in fact we were afraid it would be neglected come awards season. This ultra-stylized fable about a concierge in a forgotten hotel, whose goodness resonates for generations beyond his life, left a dazzling impression on us. It might lose the statue to Birdman, Boyhood, or Selma come Oscar night, but here at Pop Chomp, it walks away with a Golden Chomper.
BEST ACTOR
Michael Keaton – Birdman
Ralph Fiennes – The Grand Budapest Hotel
Brendan Gleeson – Calvary
David Oyelowo – Selma
Joaquin Phoenix – Inherent Vice
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: No Steve Carell, Benedict Cumberbatch, Bradley Cooper, or Eddie Redmayne – we cut 4 out of 5, folks. Impressive showings from the lot, but not their best work – not even career-defining work. Replacing them is Ralph Fiennes at the comedic peak of his career, the unconventional but no less deserving Joaquin Phoenix, the forgotten Brendan Gleeson (seriously – see Calvary), and the utterly snubbed David Oyelowo who embodied the essence of MLK in Selma.
THE WINNER: Michael Keaton – Birdman. Not only is Keaton at his best ever, he is playing a role that only he could play. There is nothing to Birdman without the story of Michael Keaton’s life and career, a grim commentary on all that is fame, self-image, and self-destruction. Compared to a lifetime of actually being Michael Keaton, sitting in a wheelchair and smiling a lot doesn’t seem so impressive.
BEST ACTRESS
Julianne Moore – Still Alice
Rosamund Pike – Gone Girl
Reese Witherspoon – Wild
Essie Davis – The Babadook
Maika Monroe – The Guest
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Marion Cotillard and the admittedly adorable Felicity Jones are out – replaced by Maika Monroe (overlooked for The Guest) and the superb Essie Davis whose haunting and haunted performance in The Babadook should have generated more buzz despite the film’s genre specifications.
THE WINNER: Julianne Moore. She is unstoppable in Still Alice – and we are sure the Academy will agree. Golden Chomper well-deserved!
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Edward Norton – Birdman
J.K. Simmons – Whiplash
Josh Brolin – Inherent Vice
Michael Fassbender – Frank
Chris O’Dowd – Calvary
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: We’ve kicked Mark Ruffalo, Ethan Hawke, and Rober Duvall to the curb (nope – we weren’t fans of The Judge either). Stepping up to the plate are Chris O’Dowd in Calvary – another of the year’s most overlooked performances, Michael Fassbender in Frank (he plays the very strange titular character), and Josh Brolin’s comedic turn as Lt. Det. “Bigfoot” Bjornsen in Inherent Vice.
THE WINNER: J.K. Simmons. Our apologies to Ed Norton and his superb work in Birdman, but no one can touch J.K. Simmons in Whiplash – probably the year’s best performance regardless of category. His turn as mad Professor Fletcher is the stuff of cinema legend. “Good job!”
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Keira Knightley – The Imitation Game
Emma Stone – Birdman
Kelly Reilly – Calvary
Katherine Waterston – Inherent Vice
Carrie Coon – Gone Girl
WHAT”S DIFFERENT?: Patricia Arquette, Laura Dern, and the ever-present Meryl Streep took a hike. I do like Patricia Arquette as an actress, but overall our voters didn’t seem to care much for Boyhood – a real snore of a film outside of its impressively long process. Subbing in are Kelly Reilly (another impressive Calvary contender), Katherine Waterston – the soothing beauty of the manic Inherent Vice, and Carrie Coon in the largely-overlooked Gone Girl.
THE WINNER: Emma Stone takes it for Birdman – though narrowly. Stone’s Sam is the other half of Michael Keaton’s tortured Riggan – the side effect of his wasted life. Emma Stone, renowned for playing roles fitted to the Hollywood “It Girl,” departs from her quirky chicness to portray a role of much substance and pain. Similar to her turn as Skeeter in The Help, her role in Birdman serves as a reminder that Stone has real acting chops and is a force to be reckoned with. We don’t care how old she is.
BEST DIRECTOR
Wes Anderson – The Grand Budapest Hotel
Alejandro Inarritu – Birdman
Damien Chazelle – Whiplash
Jennifer Kent – The Babadook
John Michael McDonagh – Calvary
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Linklater (Boyhood), Bennett Miller (Foxcatcher), and Morten Tyldum (The Imitation Game) did some fine work this year – but the efforts of Jennifer Kent, Damien Chazelle, and John Michael McDonagh were too impressive to overlook. For those who take umbrage at the omission of Linklater, I ask this: If Boyhood had been filmed in the usual way, would his name have been included in the first place?
THE WINNER: Alejandro Inarritu (Birdman). He had us hooked from the start. His vision for the bizarre, collapsing world of Birdman is both striking and unique. By far his is the standout direction of the year – and he didn’t have to spend twelve years on the job! Our apologies to Wes Anderson who was a very close second. We will center a tissue box on a shelf in your honor.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Birdman
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Nightcrawler
Calvary
A Field in England
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Boyhood and Foxcatcher are gone again! I apologize for our voters; they hate children – and love foxes. The superb Calvary and A Field in England (overlooked and way underrepresented) have nicely replaced them.
THE WINNER: Birdman. There’s nothing quite like it – and we’re sure there won’t be for a while.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Inherent Vice
The Theory of Everything
Whiplash
The Babadook
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: American Sniper and The Theory of Everything are missing here as well. Replacing them are The Babadook, a film that proves the horror genre can still display its cerebral side, and Guardians of the Galaxy, the best sci-fi/action film in years – and a worthy successor to Star Wars and its ilk.
THE WINNER: Inherent Vice. The adapted screenplay (written by Paul Thomas Anderson) perfectly captures the atmosphere, humor, and absurdity of Thomas Pynchon’s 2009 novel of the same name. While the Academy might pass Vice over for more serious fare this time around, the comic timing and the perfect evocation of 1970 Los Angeles in this adapted screenplay is masterful and deserving of acknowledgement.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Birdman
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ida
Mr. Turner
The Babadook
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Man, fuck Unbroken. The Academy chose to basically ignore that award-baiting slug heap and then it shows up here? We’ve conveniently moved Unbroken aside and allowed some room for The Babadook! Radek Ladczuk created a beautiful and terrifying world of light and shadow (not to mention bringing to life the most frightening storybook imaginable) and deserves the credit – horror flick or not.
THE WINNER: Birdman takes it. This is largely due to the artistry that contributed to the seamless illusion of filming the movie in one continuous take (see also: film editing). Combine that with some very cool, very strange fantasy sequences and it’s hard to pass Birdman up for any of its fellows – though Wes Anderson’s films are always so pretty.
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
The Grand Budapest
Interstellar
Mr. Turner
Inherent Vice
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: First let me say that not many folks seem to know what “production direction” is. This is the award that recognizes achievement in art direction in a film – its visual style, aesthetic, and optical flow are all relative to production direction. Into the Woods is off our list (though personally I found it visually striking – though cheap-looking in the same way as Jack the Giant Slayer, Snow White and the Huntsman, or similar). Gone too is The Imitation Game. Both were replaced with Guardians of the Galaxy (obviously) and the smooth and seedy Inherent Vice.
THE WINNER: The Grand Budapest Hotel. The trappings of Wes Anderson have never been more charming that in this film: controlled color palettes, prevailing use of the Futura font, hand-written notes, and meticulously centered shots – all of it combine to form a cinematic painting even more beautiful than “Boy with Apple.”
BEST SOUND MIXING
Birdman
Interstellar
Unbroken
Whiplash
The Babadook
WHAT’S DIFFERENT: American Sniper misses another shot on the list (get it?), replaced by Pop Chomp darling The Babadook. No other changes, but the loathsome Unbroken remains on the ballot.
THE WINNER: Whiplash. There wasn’t much of a contest here. In a movie that focuses on music and quality of sound you know voters are going to be minded toward Whiplash when it comes to the Sound Mixing and Sound Editing categories.
BEST SOUND EDITING
Birdman
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
Interstellar
Whiplash
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: I think you’ve got the pattern by now. American Sniper and Unbroken are gone again, replaced by Guardians of the Galaxy and Whiplash – which seems like it should have been an auto-include for the Academy.
THE WINNER: Guardians of the Galaxy. To understand how this came to be, it’s probably a good to have some idea what the difference is between sound mixing and sound editing. Sound mixing refers to putting sound together for the film’s final track (such as how sounds overlap each other and to what degree). Sound editing involves the process by which sounds are sourced and created. It seems more natural that Guardians of the Galaxy, a movie that takes place on faraway planets during cosmic wars, might be rewarded for sound editing (creating and sourcing new sounds) rather than a film that takes place under more mundane circumstances.
BEST SONG
“Everything Is Awesome” – The LEGO Movie
“Glory” – Selma
“Grateful” – Beyond the Lights
“I’m Not Gonna Miss You” – Glen Campbell…I’ll Be Me
“Lost Stars” – Begin Again
WHAT’S DIFFERENT: Nothing. We largely agreed with the Academy that music was fairly terrible this year.
THE WINNER: “Everything Is Awesome” – The LEGO Movie. Indeed, everything IS awesome about The LEGO Movie, including this super-fun song that is roughly 40,000 times better than all the other crap that was nominated or recorded this year.
BEST SCORE
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Mr. Turner
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: We didn’t really care for the scores to Interstellar, The Theory of Everything, or The Imitation Game – so we just didn’t nominate them. We technically have two more spots for two more scores but – ah, fuck it.
THE WINNER: The Grand Budapest Hotel. Wes has a keen ear for music and his lightly-antiquated style plays especially well here in a film that is more authentically a period piece than some of his other endeavors. We owe the credit here to composer Alexandre Desplat – a match made in heaven for the quirky, romantic Anderson.
BEST COSTUMES
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Inherent Vice
Into the Woods
Mr. Turner
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Maleficent was originally on this list – ain’t nobody got time for that. We quickly fixed the Academy’s grievous mistake by putting Guardians of the Galaxy exactly where it belongs.
THE WINNER: Guardians of the Galaxy. Hard not to give credit to Alexandra Byrne whose costumes were surely the finest of the year. She honored the visual style of the original Marvel comics while coming up with new, striking designs for the screen. Ms. Byrne, you took us to a new place and blew our minds. This Golden Chomper is for you!
BEST MAKEUP/HAIRSTYLING
Foxcatcher
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Guardians of the Galaxy
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Nothing! We agreed with the Academy.
THE WINNER: Guardians of the Galaxy. Elizabeth Yianni-Georgiou is the woman responsible for the masterful makeup and hair that brought the characters to life. Kudos to Foxcatcher and Grand Budapest, but hard to compete with the creation and portrayal of the various alien beings and races in Guardians.
BEST FILM EDITING
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Whiplash
The Babadook
Birdman
Calvary
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Sniper and Boyhood are out – Calvary and Babadook are in.
THE WINNER: Birdman. I covered a lot of what we felt about Birdman‘s look and atmosphere in previous categories, but without the film editing, all that would fall apart.
BEST FOREIGN FILM
Ida (Poland)
Leviathan (Russia)
Tangerines (Estonia)
Timbuktu (Mauritania)
Wild Tales (Argentina)
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Nothing! We agreed with the Academy.
THE WINNER: Ida. As Graves pointed out, Ida is a film that starkly points out that this category is a farce and should be melded with Best Picture. Regardless of where a movie is made or what language it’s in, if it’s the best, it’s the best. Ida might be that film.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Guardians of the Galaxy
Interstellar
X-Men: Days of Future Past
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Nothing. Take a look at these nominees. These are the movies we actually enjoyed watching.
THE WINNER: Guardians of the Galaxy. As if you had any doubts.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Big Hero 6
The Boxtrolls
How to Train Your Dragon 2
The Tale of Princess Kaguya
The LEGO Movie
WHAT’S DIFFERENT: The LEGO Movie‘s omission from the Oscar ballot is a crime against humanity. We’ve done our best to remedy the Academy’s mistake by including it on our ballot, rightfully alongside the likes of Big Hero 6 and How to Train Your Dragon 2. Despite my best efforts, The Boxtrolls still made the ballot. Oh well.
THE WINNER: The LEGO Movie, of course.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Citizenfour
Finding Vivien Maier
Last Days in Vietnam
The Salt of the Earth
Virunga
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: No changes here. Admittedly we’d only viewed a handful of documentaries this year – like so many folks we seem to have limited opportunities (or limited interest) when it comes to documentary viewing. We gladly thank the Academy for their list of suggestions!
THE WINNER: The Salt of the Earth. It narrowly edged out Citizenfour for the spot – perhaps because the piece emphasizes planetary beauty – subject matter rather more refreshing than the exposed evils of the global political machine.
BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT SUBJECT
Aya
Boogaloo and Graham
Butter Lamp
Parvanah
The Phone Call
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Again, it’s another one of those categories that perhaps reveal us for the uncultured swine we are. Not sure how many of us actually saw these…
THE WINNER: The Phone Call, most likely because it had the most normal-sounding name on the ballot. Runner up: Butter Lamp. I am unsurprised.
BEST ANIMATED SHORT SUBJECT
The Bigger Picture
The Dam Keeper
Feast
Me and My Moulton
A Single Life
WHAT’S DIFFERENT?: Although it’s hard to get too passionate about the Best Animated Short Subject category, our voters seemed to go with the Academy’s choices – or it is certainly possible they made no effort to alter the Academy’s original ballot in any way.
THE WINNER: Feast. Almost certainly because our voters were hungry at the time (see also: Butter Lamp).
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1
Joanna
Our Curse
The Reader
White Earth
WHAT’s DIFFERENT?: Nothing? I’m not sure. I can’t say with confidence that any of our voters actually saw these. I certainly didn’t.
THE WINNER: White Earth. Why? I don’t know. It has kind of a cool name I guess? …This is a rough category.
Many congratulations to the winners of the Pop Chomp Academy Awards! You’ll each be taking home a Golden Chomp. As for our losers and those who were left out… oh well. I suppose there’s still the Oscars.
GET CHOMPED